I'm a little scared to submit this.
Okie dokie, i've had this discussion with numerous amounts of people, and i think i've come to some conclusions finally. All i ever hear is yeah your a great friend but you make me mad, or you're kinda of mean, which is the truth i'm not afraid to admit i am mean sometimes, especially to stacey, and sometimes alex cause he's usually around at the wrong time. I've been striving to know why people dislike me so much. I'm not one of those people who truly live their lives off of what other people think (if i did i'd be in heap of trouble). but it does matter when so many people hate me, or dislike me or however you want to say it, it's all the same. It's mainly girls that i run into this problem with. I think i know why, it's a little thing i like to call the Capt. Cornbread Crisis. (oh yeah i'm totally going there.) i'm sick of being silent about, i'm sick of putting up with not talking to someone about it. So yeah here it goes. My life has sucked since the later stages of the crisis, alex knows exactly what i'm talking about. I hate when he flinches everytime we almost touch, (not because i smell either), i hate the fact that the girls i consider to be good friends of mine talked about me really harshly since the beginning of the crisis. I hate crying still because i can not get over what happened. I hate having to watch what i say because it MIGHT make things weird. I'm driving myself crazy. Kendra told me to express how i was feeling cuz we've been talking about this for a while now. and this is how i am expressing it. i'm tired of being talked about. i just want to move on with my freaking life. THAT's ALL I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but for some reason i can't. I think i'm either doing a good thing by writing about it this way or i'm totally destroying my entire life. I'm not real sure and i don't even care. So whatever. i'm crying right now and i feel like a big dork. Life just isn't fair. I tried so freakin hard to make everyone happy, i tried so hard to be perfect. i thought i was finally getting what i wanted, and it all fell apart right before my very eyes. i don't blame him and i don't blame them, the only person i have to blame is ME> I'm the one who was stupid enough to believe that someone actually worth while would want to develop a relationship with me right? So you know what you guys win! okay i surrender. THE REASON I'M SO MEAN ALL THE TIME IS CAUSE I DON"T WANT TO ADMIT THAT I"M ACTING THE WAY YOU ARE. i should even be talking about this. i'm sorry.