Here some more to throw into the mix
First of all i would like to say that i dont want no one to feel sorry for me. I don't need your pity, i have friends that are going through a lot worse right now and i want to be there for them first and foremost. So this isn't about me feeling sorry for myself: I just need to express my feeling about what i'm going through right now.
Okay yesterday after Alice practice, i come home to find my mom crying in the doorway, which scared the crap out of me. My mom never cries, well hardly ever anyway, so i thought someone died. My mom tells me that my dad has wrote a letter saying he's moving out. I was sad, and angry because this is the second time he's left us. My mom has anger problems and my dad just "couldn't take it anymore". To be honest, i never wanted to see him again. He's here today because we had to have someone fix the basement. But i hope to God my mother doesn't let him back in because he's hurt us enough. I am a person that forgives very easily but this i cannot bring myself to forgive. And i won't, i'll probably resent him for the rest of my life. For instance this morning I woke up late and freaked out and ran downstairs to make sure my mom hadn't tried to kill herself.I don't know if he really is going to leave us for good or if there getting a divorce of whats going on at all and it scares me. All i can ask you guys to do is pray, not so much for me but for my mom and little sister. I think however this is in the Lord's plan to bring me closer to my mom, i've always had problems with her but in one day we became instantly closer.
Right now, I'm just emo, listening to Green Day's new cd, and trying not to break out in any more hives. I'm really stressed out and i actually need school so someone can make me laugh. I just feel like i have to be strong for everyone, and i crumble on my own. I don't understand while all this bad stuf is happening but then God works in mysterious ways. I'll be okay though.