Carbs, Growing Up, Amish Popsicles, Marriage and Other Stuf That Has Invaded My Kingdom
Well, after Sam's little blog I started to think. As you all know, Brandon in particular, I'm addicted to carbs. Breads, pastas, soda anything and everything with a lot of carbohydrates. I'm serious the adkins diet would seriously send me into a coma. But anyway, everyone obsesses about my weight. Though countlessly I've told people I am fine. No one believes me. My mother in particular was convinced that I had an eating disorder for a really long time. I try to tell her, no mother i am fine, but she doesn't believe me. But if i did have one it would be because she makes me feel fat all the time. She's psycho, i swear. She'll yell about anorexia til she's blue in the face, and five minute later be all "sarah you really shouldn't wear that youre not as skinny as you think you are" Does that make any sense whatsoever? She's been like this forever. Now she's really worried because none of my pants fit like they used to. But oh well i'm fine.
On a completely different and random note, my friend margo called me the other day, nearly hysterical because she just realized hey we're juniors and in a year and a half we will be emanicpated from the secondary education jail also known as Amanda Clearcreek HS. Also that I won't be there to take care of her. I have more of her secrets stored up inside then i do of my own. But anyway, it scares the living crap out of me to know that someday i will have to do things on my own, with Kendra or Sarandon or whatever. I had to realize that hey the mass majority of my friends are going to graduate, meaning oh my, they won't be there next year. Ahhhhhhhhh. That really freaks me out. I don't even know what i want to do with the rest of my life, not the slightest clue, I want to go into theater, but i also want to help people. Does theatrical therapy exist yet? Of course theres art and music therapy so maybe i will invent a new genre.
My friends are growing up. I'm growing up. It sux. My good friend MIndy just got married and is four monthes pregnant. THAT'S INSANE. My others friends, Shaun and Ashley are getting married in September. AH. Its like i woke up one morning and everyone was older, or something. Talk about reality shock. Someday, I am going to end up getting married. AH. Which scares me. Marriage is weird. I don't want to get married because i'm petrified of ruining someones life. What if i mess up and break their heart forever. I'm sixteen. AH. That also frightens me. My life is just beginning. AH. Is anyone else scared?
I don't know anything about amish popsicles but it sounds cool. Like the tittle of a ska song dont' you think?