I thought about you this morning as I covered my eyelids with green shadow, I remembered how you liked how it made blue eyes shine. I think about you often. Sometimes with a smile like when I flip through channels finding the wiggles were on it made me think of you singing at lunch making me and Renae laugh til tears. I don't talk to Renae anymore, I think its because it hurts to much to be reminded of you. Sometimes with tears, like when you brush past me in a crowded Circleville street holding her hand, you looked at me and turned your head. You couldn't say anything to me because of her. I hate her so much it hurts me inside. I know she's filling your head with lies, I know shes mad because you were(are?) in love with me. I didn't mean to. I've seen you a few times, I want to scream at you for listening to her, and thinking she is all there is for you. You can't be with me, as I don't want to be with you like that, but I know there is something more for you. I want so badly to tell you how I feel, to know what's going on in your life. Its hard to believe that two summers ago, we would talk on the phone for hours about nothing and everything. There's so much that has happened. So many things I have to tell you. I want for you to know, that you are one of the greatest influences to the person I am today. You helped me question my faith, you helped me find who I am. I wish you could know that. But you never will. I still have your secrets. I think of the pain you've been through and weep. You didn't deserve any of it. We all love you, everyone in the demented family we had. We've gone seperate ways but we are united in the fact that we love you. I want to say this to you, I wish you would give me the chance. I know you still think about me, we were best friends. I know you are going to be something great, your brilliant. Probably the most brilliant person I've ever met. You have the potential to change the world. I know you do...I wonder if she tells you this. I've never hated anyone quite like the way I hate her. I love you....