Sexual Frustration

Interesting Title Don't You Agree?

Published on January 25, 2005 By NotSoSmellySarah In Personal Relationships

Okay so at the bball game me and shaun had a conversation about sex. This one was significant however. I just read sams article on sex and I was thinking. I want to know other opinions, i'm not some sex crazed maniac who is just looking to get laid, I seriously just want some answers.

Why are we supposed to wait til marriage? Okay, i understand sex is sacred and beautiful and ment to be cherished. But if I'm in love with someone (once again i know it requires maturity, and a lot of other stuf, this is purely hypothetical.) why does having some reverend tell me "okay its alright to have sex now" make it suddenly okay. I mean seriously. What is marriage, to me it is a commitment between to people that love each other and God, it is a exclamation of love and trust and what not. Do i need some preacher to tell me that? Sex is so personal, why does it have to be at the same time for everyone?

Okay call me immature, but if youre going to be with someone your whole life, wouldn't you want to know if you have good sex first? I mean most people will probably be all like but thats not what matter the most. But you have to admit, it is significant. If youre going to be with only that one person for the rest of your life, wouldn't you want it to be good. But then from what i hear sex is good if youre in love, so it won't necessarily matter.

Last thing, is oral sex enough to make me not a virgin anymore? Its supposed to be how you feel afterwards or something that makes you a virgin/non virgin. Its been a substanial amount of time, I guess i feel like a virgin. I don't know. They say that oral sex is very intimate and what not. I don't know how i feel about this.

I don't not wanted to be judged by the conservatives on this site. Okay? I have my own way at looking at things. Also if you have some its in the bible response, please save it, i already know. Its cool if youre waiting for marriage, or just waiting as i am, i just want to know what you all think.

Comments (Page 1)

Zoologist03

on Jan 25, 2005

I'm not sure why marriage is such a big deal...I mean all you need is a Reverend(Like me) or a Priest to basically say..."You're hooked up now go hump away and make some children"...That's really all marriage turns out to be....well, there are some insurance deductions and stuff like that...but other than finances that's all it equals. I'm a Reverend so I should be able to tell people to have sex?...I'm not sure, but if it makes them feel better, than sure...why not?

I obtained my Reverendship here if you're wondering Link

~Zoo

NotSoSmellySarah

on Jan 25, 2005

The prinples behind mariage are very important to me, but the thing itself is just kind of like a big waste of time and money. That web site is kind of creepy...if i should decide i'm ready to have sex, i'll make sure to get your blessing or whatever. lol.

BigDreamer415

on Jan 26, 2005

Well, being a Christian, I'll share the reasons I'm saving sex for marriage. Any one of these reasons is a good enough one for me.

1) I aim to please God. Not because I have to, but because He knows what's best.
2) I know God is good and that His consequences for disobeying him are no fun, and that the blessings for obeying Him are greatly rewarding.
3) I respect myself and my future spouse enough to wait.
4) I think it will be incredibly romantic and special to tell my spouse on my wedding night that I waited just for him.
5) I haven't yet heard any couples, who saved themselves for marriage, say the regret it. I've heard way too many stories of regret of people who have had sex before marriage.
6) Three letters (four if it's plural

): STDs
7) Abstinence is the only sure-fire way to protect against pregnency
8) Being the stubborn person I am, and knowing many adults don't believe that I'll be able to save myself, I want to prove them wrong.
9) The guilt I would experience would be overbearing and completely not worth it.
10) Who wants used goods?

As far as oral sex is concerned, I want to be pure for my husband, and whether is constitutes as losing your virginity or not is all a matter of semantics. Think of it this way: how far would you want your future husband to go with girls he's dating before you?

Ultimately and obviously, the choice is yours. I can assure you, though, it will be completely and totally worth the wait, if that's what you decide. Hope I didn't sound preachy... wasn't trying to.

~Sarah

Frogboy

on Jan 26, 2005

I don't see any reason why you should wait to get married. That said, you should be very very picky about who you sex with. Otherwise it is likely to come back and haunt you.

NotSoSmellySarah

on Jan 26, 2005

Other Sarah~ thanks those are really good reasons. I too want to please God and I understand his ways are not quite my ways, but i get what your saying its very helpful. I just don't understand the marriage thing. And I feel the need to question things before I partake in them. Oral sex, already been there and done that, i just pray that my future husband won't mind

Brad~ of course this is always on option too.

carebear07

on Jan 27, 2005

I think that you should wait till you're married. But you already knew that. It shouldn't matter if the sex is good or not, it should matter wether or not you love them. But I think you already knew that.

~carebear~

NotSoSmellySarah

on Jan 27, 2005

Yeah ash i did, but its the why marriage thing that still bugs me

msladydeath

on Jan 27, 2005

Because of the hope that it is harder to leave a marriage than a relationship without public vows of faith

I have 3 kids, all with the same father, all out of wedlock, and now he is gone, just left like dust in the wind, and my last child with him made for his 10th child, all out of wedlock.

the choice is yours, and yours alone to make. Just remember the consiquences.

CombatMedic1

on Jan 28, 2005

If you're willing to go oral on somebody, you are not really a virgin. Its like a principle or something. I have known women who would only have straight intercourse rather than have to go down on somebody, so in that regard you are more experienced and kinky than them. Oral sex is a very intimate thing, at least to me, and I will only do it for people I really love... or if I'm really drunk(just kidding!) As for waiting for marriage, I wouldn't, there is nothing more awkward than your first time and you don't want that haunting you for the rest of your marriage. Good Luck, Smelly..

BrummyBoy

on Jan 28, 2005

but its the why marriage thing that still bugs me

It's for the same reason why some cultures prefer women to dress in black with a veil and not show skin in public.

Sex before marriage is a cultural thing influenced by old-skool Christianity. Adhering to it is like choosing to wear all black with a veil and not showing skin in public. Do culture's rules align with your own inner wisdom? The answer is different for everybody, which is what makes like so rich.

is oral sex enough to make me not a virgin anymore?

If you lose your cherry after having oral sex then you need to see your dentist.

BrummyBoy

on Jan 28, 2005

( . . . in other words, sex after marriage in our culture is because of the Bible. I didn't want to say that because you'd already written, "If you have some its in the bible response, please save it, i already know.")

wnx_decoy

on Jan 28, 2005

Why get married first? My reasoning is plain and simple. It would upset my mom if she found out that I ever had sex before I got married. I'm not so worried about what the Bible says as I am worried about what kind of image I'd be creating.

Capt. over and out!

wnx_decoy

on Jan 28, 2005

also... I'm afraid that someone might accuse me of only getting married because I had sex and ended up with a baby. Then again, I kind of already said that, huh? Oh well.

Capt. over and out!

Myrrander

on Jan 28, 2005

be careful about sex because of disease and/or pregnancy firstly, and because it can fuck your mind up and your friendships

having said all that, the christian preoccupation with sex is out of control

don't let jesus scare you

BigDreamer415

on Jan 28, 2005

Hmm, I haven't seen you in a while Brandon... I'm surprised at you.

~Sarah

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