"So do you miss him?" What the hell do you think??????? Why would you ask someone that, its like hacking someones arm off, pouring salt into the newly oozing wound and then asking "Does it hurt?" You want to scream and kick and rip peoples hair out. I would be fine if people weren't so ridicously stupid. I want peace and quiet, no I don't want to talk about it. And if my mother asks me when he's leaving for college one more time I probably going to internally combust. I just want to think ...
It's really hard for you to be yourself, when you think your supposed to be something else. I was supposed to grow up in to some cold hearted liberal, feminist, lesbian on the side. That's what my prophesy was. I guess thats the track I was on for a really long time. I never had the time to be a girl. I skipped the stage where girls become girls. I always knew I was different from all of them but not in a unique way. Like I missed something. I missed my chance to become a girl. ...
Confession No. 1~ I like it when Brandon opens the door for me. I could just kick myself for this. I've always felt like I had to be the strong willed, I have a vagina, hear me roar type. But his old fashioned chivalry melts my heart. Of course, he still won't be paying for anything, but I must confess I love to be treated like a princess. sigh. He knows this secret, but I had to confess. Confession No. 2~ I had my hair done for an hour and a half an...
Hey there, I know it's hard to feel like I don't care at all. Where you are and how you feel. With these lights off as these wheels keep rolling on and on. (and on and on and on...) Slow things down or speed them up. Not enough or way too much. (and on and on and on...) How are you when I'm gone? [Chorus:] And I can't make it on my own. (And I can't make it on my own.) Because my heart is in Ohio. So cut my wrists and black my eyes. (Cut my wrists and black my eyes) So I can ...
What makes straight guys think that every single gay male they come in contact with wants to have crazy anal sex with them? Guys freak out when another guy is homosexual, and I personally think they shouldn't flatter themselves so much, chances are thats not the case. Girls used to freak out because they thought I was some crazed lesbian or something, I think that they were retarded but thats okay. Guys usually aren't atracted to every single girl they see, so what makes them t...
April Tenth 2002, I was a thirteen year old eigth grade girl, very trusting, very bubbly, and desperate to feel love. I didn't care who from or why, I just didn't respect or love myself. I was a little girl playing grown up. I had a seventeen year old boyfriend, the man that would destroy any chance I ever had at loving myself. None of my ac guild friends or even brandon has ever heard me talk about him. I try not to. But April 10 is the day that we started going out three years ago. Every ye...
I'll never find it in me, To love me like he does, I'll never find it in me, To actually believe that I am beautiful, I'll never find it in me, To stop fading away, I can't scream, I can't hurt anyone's feelings I want to offend, I want to defend, Never again, I'm not allowed to hurt, I'm not allowed to cry, I'm not allowed to hate, Fear won't let go of my heart, Its ripping me, It's tearing me apart, Jealousy rotts my heart away, I hate them, But I love them, No one feel...
Dear God, I know i get really angry at you sometimes, I'm sorry. I just don't know who to blame for all the crap that goes on in my life. I know its not your fault, i know that your the Father figure in my life, not the master controler of it, but I don't know that you'll work things out if i can't handle it. I have so much to say to you. For starters, are you the same with every person? I know that you don't play favorites, but why would you make all of us so different if you want us to...
Dear God, I know i get really angry at you sometimes, I'm sorry. I just don't know who to blame for all the crap that goes on in my life. I know its not your fault, i know that your the Father figure in my life, not the master controler of it, but I don't know that you'll work things out if i can't handle it. I have so much to say to you. For starters, are you the same with every person? I know that you don't play favorites, but why would you make all of us so different if you want us t...
I was just thinking about how a month or so ago, Piper and Brandon said i was equivilant to a guy. Yeah. Lovely. But its true. I'm a paradox. I'm a girly girl, I love makeup, shopping, Vagina!!!!!!!!!!!, and girl stuff. But I've always felt more comfortable around guys. I often find myself saying things that are very guy esque, like when brandons watching gilmore girls, and I'm rambling on about a sexual comment shaun made or something. I'm not a tomboy, I don't like sports, or cars, I don't ...
I am so sick of hearing "well if youre going to be an actress you better get used to such and such" I know what I am going to have to face it is not an excuse for you to treat me like crap or to get me to do things that i hate. When it matters, I won't complain, right now were in high school and i can do what i want. Stop using me. Stop abusing me. Don't CONDESCEND to me. Don't use that tone. Don't yell at me. Just shut up and let me be. I know what i'm doing. Stop acting like you know more ...
Some jr. high girl the other day heard me singing, which i have a tendancy to do. I don't really think anything of it, I've been singing before i could talk. Not well, but decent enough i think to get me through musicals in my career as an actor or whatever. But anyway this girl was all like "talent show..blah, blah" I thought it was possibly the most riddiculous thing i had ever heard. So I dragged her over to meet my friend Tia, now she's a singer. better than any female i've ever heard in ...
You said "theyre too good for me" And maybe you were right, Maybe you hate them out of instinct, But probably out of spite, When you can nearly hear there whispers, ANd nearly feel the knife, (you can feel it tickishly scratching the skin of your back) You wonder whats next, what new drama will cause them to thrust the knife in you and wrench out all of you, Peace is just a lie, A eutopian concept, Thats trying to be applied to an anarchal state, When you reach the edge there's not...
A scream dying in my throat, Before I can birth to it, A thought dying in my mind, Before i can even conceive it, Must i dwell in adequacy? In jealousy? In hostility? Can't I dwell in epiphany? Just for a moment? Why am i denying myself? Will i end up alone and desolate? Like I always seem to find myself, Questions make my head ache with paranoia, And make my heart ache with hostility, But they keep rising up in me, choking me merclessly, And i can't swallow them down Will it e...
Okay so there was theese cute little bunnies all playing in a field.....lol. I wondered what it would be like to whore for points. I really don't even understand the whole point thing, but i just read another Homosexual article and it ticked me off, because all they wanted was points. What i'm really writing about is the vagina. I read the Vagina Monologues and now i want to perform one. I think it would be cool. No one ever talks about vaginas. I mean the word does sound like an infection....