I am so sick of hearing "well if youre going to be an actress you better get used to such and such" I know what I am going to have to face it is not an excuse for you to treat me like crap or to get me to do things that i hate. When it matters, I won't complain, right now were in high school and i can do what i want. Stop using me. Stop abusing me. Don't CONDESCEND to me. Don't use that tone. Don't yell at me. Just shut up and let me be. I know what i'm doing. Stop acting like you know more ...

Some jr. high girl the other day heard me singing, which i have a tendancy to do. I don't really think anything of it, I've been singing before i could talk. Not well, but decent enough i think to get me through musicals in my career as an actor or whatever. But anyway this girl was all like "talent show..blah, blah" I thought it was possibly the most riddiculous thing i had ever heard. So I dragged her over to meet my friend Tia, now she's a singer. better than any female i've ever heard in ...

You said "theyre too good for me" And maybe you were right, Maybe you hate them out of instinct, But probably out of spite, When you can nearly hear there whispers, ANd nearly feel the knife, (you can feel it tickishly scratching the skin of your back) You wonder whats next, what new drama will cause them to thrust the knife in you and wrench out all of you, Peace is just a lie, A eutopian concept, Thats trying to be applied to an anarchal state, When you reach the edge there's not...

A scream dying in my throat, Before I can birth to it, A thought dying in my mind, Before i can even conceive it, Must i dwell in adequacy? In jealousy? In hostility? Can't I dwell in epiphany? Just for a moment? Why am i denying myself? Will i end up alone and desolate? Like I always seem to find myself, Questions make my head ache with paranoia, And make my heart ache with hostility, But they keep rising up in me, choking me merclessly, And i can't swallow them down Will it e...

Okay so there was theese cute little bunnies all playing in a field.....lol. I wondered what it would be like to whore for points. I really don't even understand the whole point thing, but i just read another Homosexual article and it ticked me off, because all they wanted was points. What i'm really writing about is the vagina. I read the Vagina Monologues and now i want to perform one. I think it would be cool. No one ever talks about vaginas. I mean the word does sound like an infection....

Hours in front of mirrors, Hoping that they might lie, By producing a false image, Never seeing something that could give me joy, A one dimensional view of a multi demensional me, I feel beautiful when i am far away from mirrors, When my hair is frizzy and crazed, When my make up is smeared from happy tears, Or from the wear and tear of life, And I catch him looking at me, In that loving way he does as if i am the most beautiful thing he has ever beheld, Captivating me, He wraps...

Life is not a video game with God at the controllers. I'm sorry but that's not how it works. God is the Father, He takes care of us, watches out for us, listens to our cries, and fixes things when we mess up. But He doesn't control what happens to us. There would be no need for Jesus or Salvation or Redemption if it was that way. I hate when people say well whatever God has planned. I do know what God does place people and situations in our lives SOMETIMES for a divine purpose. But we make ou...

I want to shake the dust off of my feet, and make something of myself. I want bright lights, and big cities.But how can i ever get that if i can barely function in this stupid school in this crappy little town. Sigh. Maybe i can function cuz i desire bigger and greater things. I worry myself sick because i just want so badly. I feel like my charchter in Calamity last year. Or belle. I guess thats why my favorite disney movie is beauty and the beast. I always felt like she did, "there must be...

Well, we had an emo moment, but it brought us together. Other than muchos stupidity and annoyance from "them" it was an awesome time. I had never been to Disney World before. It was so cool. I felt like a little kid again, and I laughed a lot. I smiled a lot (when i didn't want to scream). I got to be with Brandon a lot, and that made me smile the most. I feel closer to him than i ever have. From stalking Peter Pan, playing titanic on the ferry, to listening to Shaun tease me, and Br...

I spend ninety percent of my time with boys. Brandon, of course, Shaun, Alex etc. the only female i come into a decent amount of contact with is kinjruh but even then not a whole lot. I sometimes forget that i'm allowed to be girly. So today was the tea party. The dress was victorian. Okay so i know that we're the only teenage girls probably anywhere that still play dress up and go to tea partys. But i don't care. So anyway i got to wear like a dozen skirts and be in the presence of FEMALES f...

Florida is three days away. I can barely contain myself. But at the same time, I am praying that it will not turn into a breeding ground for drama. With closed setting like a seventeen hour bus drive, only God knows how many problems and resolutions we could have. But I'll have Brandon to keep me company, and keep me from losing my temper. I struggle to have tolerance for stupidity. But anyway, I'm all packed and ready to go. I've never been to disneyland before so this will be a new and ex...

So i was sick of ac guild that is why i have this now. I hope you like it and i hope it suits us better. I don't know much about computers but i think this will work fine.

I'll make this short and sweet. I'm done with joeuser. May you all rot in your own drama, you took a great thing and ruined it. I am finished. I don't care. DON'T COME TO ME AND WHINE because i'm not condoning your crap. I have three people on this site that i trust and if any of them havea problem you know who you are and you can come to me. If you are female stay as far away as possible. I am not condoning your behavior anymore. I'm taking my abilities and moving elsewhere. GOOD LUCK.

I'm trying to think of my gym class as a mere lesson in social darwinsim. I hate gym, I still argue that I am athletically challenged. Like i really care that i can't hit a stupid ball over a stupid net. It's such an idiotic waste of my time. I mean I know they want to to be healthy, but please. Anyway, my P.E. class has all the basic princples of natural selection, the biggest dumbest jocks and the cutest athletic girls go first. Then the mediocre, and then well the people like me. I am tryi...

He is the skeleton in my closet, The cold lifeless cadaver in my trunk, His faces still haunts me, His laughter ringing in my ears, His presence plagues my dreams Creeping like the still small voice in my head, Late at night, I am vunerable again There i can still feel him And I am suffocating again, He told me he "loved me" And gave me back my heart, Rotten and soiled with tears, As I made scars to heal the pain, Paranoia choked the trust out of me Paradoxy making me confused,...